Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

Economics and Humour

Posted: September 12, 2011 in Humor

Check this up…and thanx to the friend who sent me this…..

TRADITIONAL ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies and the economy grows. You retire on the income.

INDIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You worship them.

AMERICAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
You profess surprise when the cow drops dead.
You put the blame on some nation with cows and naturally that nation will be
a danger to mankind.
You wage a war to save the world and grab the cows.

FRENCH ECONOMICS
You have two cows
You go on strike because you want three cows.

GERMAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You reengineer them so that they live for 100 years eat once a month and
milk themselves.

BRITISH ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
They are both mad cows.

JAPANESE ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
YOU redesign them so that they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow,and
produce twenty times the milk. You then create cute cartoon cow imagescalled
Cowkimon! and market them worldwide.

CHINESE ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment, high bovine productivity and arrest anyone
reporting the actual numbers.

BANGLADESH ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You don’t know economy.
You choose one of them as the Prime Minister of the country and the otherthe Leader of the Opposition.

PAKISTAN ECONOMICS
You don’t have any cows.
You claim that the Indian cows belong to you!!!!

Cheers
VedamsGyan

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Things That Make You Feel Old –
 

1. Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge was released 16 years ago.

2. Windows XP was released TEN years ago, in 2001.

3. The “new” Millennium is more than a decade old.

4. Chetan Bhagat’s antics have been around for the past 7 years!

5. Pierce Brosnan last acted as James Bond 9 years ago.

6. The Delhi Metro has been running for 9 Years now.

7. It’s been 10 years since 9/11

8. The Matrix came out 12 years ago, Keanu Reeves is 46 today

9. Mother Theresa and Lady Diana have been dead for 14 years.

10. Remember Jungle Book on Doordarshan? That was more than 15 years ago.

11. Macaulay Culkin is 30 today. “Home Alone” came out over 20 years ago.

12. Terminator 2 is 20 years old. Edward Furlong who portrayed kid John Connor is 33 now.

13. Sean Connery is 80 years old and retired.

14. The youngest Spice Girl is 35, the oldest Backstreet Boy 39, Gwen Stefani is 41, Madonna 52

15. The first Harry Potter book came out 14 years ago!

16. The first season of F.R.I.E.N.D.S was aired 17 years ago!

17. Akshay Kumar was born in 1967!

18. Arnold Schwarzenegger is older than Independent India. He was born in June 1947

19. ‘Kids’ born in 1993 can legally drive, drink and vote this year.

20. Jurassic Park is older than Justin Bieber.

21. Rajiv Gandhi has been dead for 20 years.

22. Bryan Adams’ cult song “Summer of 69″ was released 26 years ago.

23. Kids whom you remember in their diapers posting their pics on Facebook.

24. Facebook has been around for 7 years. Orkut for 9.
Fraandshipping since 2002

25. Remember the little girl from Kuch Kuch Hota Hai? She is 23 now.

26. The Maruti Zen was first introduced 18 years ago.

27. And of course, the Rasna Girl. She is all grown up as well….

And last but not least College Students calling you Uncle/ Aunty……….

(Thanx to Mazher Bhai for sharing this Amazing post)…

If you think, you had a very bad day…check this up…..there is worse which is/has happend to people…..you are on LUCKY XXS……

Made In Japan

Posted: March 31, 2011 in Humor

A Japanese man went to India to visit some historical places. On the last day, he hired a taxi and told the driver to drive to the airport.

During the journey, a Honda drove past the taxi. Thereupon, the man leaned out of the window excitedly and yelled, “Honda, very fast! Made in Japan!”

After a while, a Toyota sped past the taxi. Again, the Japanese man leaned out of the window and yelled, “Toyota, very fast! Made in Japan!”

And then a Mitsubishi sped past the taxi. For the third time, the Japanese leaned out of the window and yelled, “Mitsubishi, very fast! Made in Japan!”

The driver was a little angry, but he kept quiet. And this went on for quite a number of cars.

Finally, the taxi came to the airport. The fare was Rs. 900. The Japanese exclaimed, “Oohh… so expensive!”

There upon, the driver yelled back – “Meter, very fast! Made in Japan!”

 

What Gender is Computer????

Posted: March 31, 2011 in Humor

A language instructor was explaining to her class that in French, nouns, unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine. ‘House’, in French, is feminine – ‘la maison.’ ‘Pencil’, in French is masculine – ‘le crayon.’

One puzzled student asked, “What gender is ‘computer’ ?”

The teacher did not know the word wasn’t in her French dictionary. So for fun she split the class into two groups, appropriately enough, by gender and asked them to decide whether ‘computer’ should be a masculine or feminine noun.

Both groups were required to give four reasons for their recommendation. The men’s decided that computer should definitely be of the feminine gender (la computer), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for possible later retrieval.

4. As soon as you make a commitment to, you find yourself spending g half your pay check on accessories for it.

The women’s group however, concluded that computers should be masculine (‘le computer’) because:

1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.

2. They have a lot of data are still clueless.

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem.

4. As soon you commit one, you realise that if you’d waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

Women Group won………..

Chinese VS Spielberg—–Amazing Joke

Posted: March 31, 2011 in Humor

A Chinese man went into a bar in Hawaii to have some drinks. At the counter, he was amazed to see that was sitting next to the famous Hollywood director, Steven Spielberg. After a round of beer the Chinese sensed that famous director glaring at him. Suddenly, in a flash Chinese crashed down from his stool, felled by a vicious punch from the director.

Picking himself up, he yelled, “What the hell was that for ?”

Spielberg ranted: “That’s for the bombing of Pearl Harbor, you ********* ! My dad perished in that bombing.”

“I am not Japanese. I am Chinese.”

“Yeah yeah yeah … Japanese, Burmese, Chinese, you are all the same,” retorted Spielberg.

Regaining his composure, the Chinese took his seat and ordered a double from the bartender. A few second later, the Chinese turned around and delivered a mighty punch to Spielberg, sending him flat on the floor.

“What was that for ?” exclaimed the director.

“That’s for sinking the Titanic! I had ancestors on that ship!” the Chinese replied.

“You ignorant man ! The Titanic was sunk by an iceberg!” shouted the director.

“Yeah yeah yeah … Iceberg, Charlsberg, Spielberg .. you are all the same!”

 

 

Corporate Humor…. All to have fun…so no offense…..just enjoyyyyyyy

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This is all for fun..and no offence……..Just make you laugh……..

Hope you all liked it…

Cheers
VedamsGyan

CORPORATE HUMOR

Check this up

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Hope you all liked it

Cheers
VedamsGyan

No…I am not Joking…This is true…

In September 2008…..Chinese Shandong Airlines Flight CRJ7 carrying 7 Crew members and 69 passengers started from Guilin to Zhengzhou, traveled a distance of 500 miles. Everything was going well…but the real trouble started when the plane broke down shortly after it landed…….Yeah….and you know what the plane had to be removed from the runway,……and the best part or the only way to do it was to have passengers and airport staff push it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes you have read Correctly….This Plane was to be pushed……..wowwwww

The herculean task of moving this 20-ton vehicle half a mile took the group nearly two hours!!!!!!!!! and the only solace to the passengers was that they were not the only people pushing it…airport staff to joined in the amazing and never to be done task…

And after pushing this One worker was relieved that the plane wasn’t bigger. He was reported as saying, “Thank God it was only a 20-ton, medium-size plane … If it were a big plane, it would have knocked us out…………hmmm mentally prepared..

Check the photographs

Plane Pushed by Passengers

Plane Pushed by Passengers

Plane Pushed by Passengers 2

Plane Pushed by Passengers 2

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Plane Pushed by Passengers 4

AB’s Stroke: Thank god…i was not in that plane…damm i cant push my car..leave car..cannt push my bike….Thats great excerise for all the passengers….need to find out what happened to that arilines..and how much popularity it got…..They can boast of some thing like….The only Airline…when can push the planes………Or Fly with us…we will make you push you to the LIMITS……. Pheww…Hope all the low cost…why low cost..all the airlines need to seriously look into issues like this…i keep reading and hearing about some many.. small but definitely incidents which make the air travel not so safe….these airlines..need to take care of passengers….not only thinking about the best route..or maximum occupied routeeeeeeeeee…so plz do take of us guysssss.

And for all the travellers………. Eat well before you board a Plane….you never know..when you need to push a Plane….

Cheers
Vedams Gyan

 

Check this amazing  compilation ads of Ameriquest………………..Lovely and truly….i enjoyed posting this