Archive for March, 2011

Made In Japan

Posted: March 31, 2011 in Humor

A Japanese man went to India to visit some historical places. On the last day, he hired a taxi and told the driver to drive to the airport.

During the journey, a Honda drove past the taxi. Thereupon, the man leaned out of the window excitedly and yelled, “Honda, very fast! Made in Japan!”

After a while, a Toyota sped past the taxi. Again, the Japanese man leaned out of the window and yelled, “Toyota, very fast! Made in Japan!”

And then a Mitsubishi sped past the taxi. For the third time, the Japanese leaned out of the window and yelled, “Mitsubishi, very fast! Made in Japan!”

The driver was a little angry, but he kept quiet. And this went on for quite a number of cars.

Finally, the taxi came to the airport. The fare was Rs. 900. The Japanese exclaimed, “Oohh… so expensive!”

There upon, the driver yelled back – “Meter, very fast! Made in Japan!”

 

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What Gender is Computer????

Posted: March 31, 2011 in Humor

A language instructor was explaining to her class that in French, nouns, unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine. ‘House’, in French, is feminine – ‘la maison.’ ‘Pencil’, in French is masculine – ‘le crayon.’

One puzzled student asked, “What gender is ‘computer’ ?”

The teacher did not know the word wasn’t in her French dictionary. So for fun she split the class into two groups, appropriately enough, by gender and asked them to decide whether ‘computer’ should be a masculine or feminine noun.

Both groups were required to give four reasons for their recommendation. The men’s decided that computer should definitely be of the feminine gender (la computer), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for possible later retrieval.

4. As soon as you make a commitment to, you find yourself spending g half your pay check on accessories for it.

The women’s group however, concluded that computers should be masculine (‘le computer’) because:

1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.

2. They have a lot of data are still clueless.

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem.

4. As soon you commit one, you realise that if you’d waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

Women Group won………..

Chinese VS Spielberg—–Amazing Joke

Posted: March 31, 2011 in Humor

A Chinese man went into a bar in Hawaii to have some drinks. At the counter, he was amazed to see that was sitting next to the famous Hollywood director, Steven Spielberg. After a round of beer the Chinese sensed that famous director glaring at him. Suddenly, in a flash Chinese crashed down from his stool, felled by a vicious punch from the director.

Picking himself up, he yelled, “What the hell was that for ?”

Spielberg ranted: “That’s for the bombing of Pearl Harbor, you ********* ! My dad perished in that bombing.”

“I am not Japanese. I am Chinese.”

“Yeah yeah yeah … Japanese, Burmese, Chinese, you are all the same,” retorted Spielberg.

Regaining his composure, the Chinese took his seat and ordered a double from the bartender. A few second later, the Chinese turned around and delivered a mighty punch to Spielberg, sending him flat on the floor.

“What was that for ?” exclaimed the director.

“That’s for sinking the Titanic! I had ancestors on that ship!” the Chinese replied.

“You ignorant man ! The Titanic was sunk by an iceberg!” shouted the director.

“Yeah yeah yeah … Iceberg, Charlsberg, Spielberg .. you are all the same!”

 

Back pain or backache….. is a common problem which we see among  a lots of people, not only the old aged and middle-aged people but also young people who work for long hours with their their busy lifestyle. There are various causes for backache include poor posture, lack of exercise, too much stress, muscular tension, etc………..

Here are some home remedies to help you deal with this problem:

  • If you are overweight, the first thing you should do is lose excess weight because then your back won’t have to bear extra pressure.
  • Massage your back with garlic oil and eucalyptus oil to seek relief from pain and inflammation.
  • Drink a glass of warm water mixed with a tablespoon of honey to soothe back pain.
  • Deficiency of vitamin C makes one prone to backache. Therefore, increase the vitamin C intake in your diet.
  • Apply a towel that has been squeezed after being soaked in hot salted water, on the back. Application of heat in this way will provide relief.
  • Do not sit in the same position for several hours. Also, sit straight and do not stoop. A poor posture will only worsen your back pain.

And to prevent Backache or Back pain…………………………

Chin up, back straight is the mantra

The following are some general precautions, for those suffering from backache :

i. The best way to prevent common back problems is to stay fit and active. Staying active will also help control your weight, which is one of the primary causes of back pain.

ii. The easiest way to ease your back pain is by applying heat locally by means of a hot water bottle. Warmth always helps.

iii. While lifting heavy objects, keep your back straight. Poor lifting techniques are a major cause of back strain and injury.Injuries are less likely if you are fit and have strong back, stomach and leg muscles. Here is the correct lifting technique:

  1. Make a firm base with your feet, keeping them about shoulder width apart.
  2. Lift with your legs, bending your knees instead of your back.
  3. Do not kneel or bend your knees too much.
  4. Keep your chin held in and raised, as this helps keep your back straight.
  5. Ensure the load is as close to your body as possible.
  6. Keep your arms and elbows tucked close to your body.
  7. Do not twist your back; change direction by moving your feet.

iv. Avoid wearing high heels.

v. Refrain from sleeping in your chair.

vi. Use a cushion to support the small of your back when seated.

vii. To rest and sleep, lie on a firm, flat surface, if possible.

viii. Swimming in a pool also helps.

ix. Relaxing at regular intervals helps.

x. It is important to manage your weight; check your weight regularly and lose the excess kilos.

Hope this article helps you to over come you back pain……………….

Be the back bone of the nation..or your company..or your family…..so have a health back…..

Cheers
VedamsGyan


I was going thru some articles and found this one…..amazing thing…..so felt that this should be posted in Vedamsgyan…..

This is for Ecommerce Companies who wants to increase their profits

Top 10 Strategies for Ecommerce Companies to Increase Profits ………….

1. Drive more customers by expanding your online footprint. Is your sole customer acquisition strategy to drive traffic to your primary website? Consider launching a microstore for a popular product, which will boost search traffic and conversions. Search rank is the online equivalent of location, location, location. A micro-store is a strategic medium to earn highly concentrated content that will boost your search rank in a profitable product category.

2. Increase customer capture points and convenience with mobile. Mobile shopping is a popular and rapidly growing marketplace. According to a report by ABI Research, mobile commerce is predicted to reach $119 billion by 2015. Smartphones make the mobile adoption simple and cost-effective, relative to its marketplace potential. Mobile apps and browsers can now be seamlessly launched from your existing ecommerce product catalog, and should be integrated with marketplaces and social networks.

3. Create an online franchise for your products. Enable your key business partners to become online franchisees, with the ability to launch their own stores that include your products. Utilize ecommerce technology that supports online franchising to allow partners to determine how to best serve the markets they know best. This strategy allows you to rapidly expand your business by delegating marketing to hundreds or even thousands of online franchisees.

4. Increase repeat business from existing buyers. Typically, repeat business is the dominant source of profitability for ecommerce retailers due to the avoidance of customer acquisition costs. Improving this metric enables retailers to increase profits and spend more to acquire new customers. By using a multi-store ecommerce strategy to create niche stores for your most profitable demographics, you can serve customers that are loyal to certain products or brands with a micro store that is highly targeted to your preferences.

5. Increase average order value from all buyers. Any increase in average order value yields revenue without incremental customer acquisition cost. Bundling items in sets, kits or to be sold in quantities, is an excellent way of raising the average order value. Smaller items are often used as a loss leader, but offering a bundled savings can increase the average order value.

6. Increase conversion rate for site traffic. Sites that minimize the path to find desired products have the best conversion rates. Make the process simpler for the user and you will gain credibility with the prospect, and make the decision to commit easier. Use a multi-store ecommerce strategy to create niche stores that are entirely dedicated to products for a particular market segment. The SEO potential is significant here, and the site experience is much more targeted to the visitor’s needs.

7. Reduce shopping cart abandonment. Have a streamlined checkout process with as few steps as possible. If you do require customers to register for your site in order to make a purchase, consider if this is necessary. If it’s a one-time buyer, they may look elsewhere for their purchase in order to avoid registration. Provide “trust logos”- indicators of site security – on your site such as VeriSign, MacAfee site scan and the SSL lock symbol that displays in the address bar indicating that the site uses secure socket layer and therefore ensures transactions are appropriately encrypted. All of these help to provide a sense of security for your customers and result in decreased cart abandonment. Ensure easy access of your company’s customer service by prominently displaying links and phone numbers on your site to allow customers to contact you with potential problems.

8. Differentiate from competition by providing a rich user experience. With several online retailers in the marketplace, you need to set yourself apart from the competition.Provide detailed information about your product including descriptions, specifications, multiple pictures, etc. to help customers “visualize” your product more effectively. Including unbiased customer reviews and third party endorsements goes a long way towards differentiating your product from the competition. Finally, consider a real-time inventory status system for your site, to ensure efficient processing and delivery of your product.

9. Leverage social media effectively. In today’s online marketplace, ecommerce managers need to identify where their target audience gathers in social media channels, and engage them there. Use Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, foursquare, etc. to identify who can send you customers and improve your brand image. Your organization’s presence  online can impact buyers’ decisions for where to make their online purchase. Engage with your social media fans/followers and create two-way conversations, improving customer satisfaction with your brand. A good ecommerce platform should enable you to leverage your existing product catalog and attributes in order to easily launch social media stores.

10. Increase operational efficiency through effective integrations. A truly flexible ecommerce platform makes it easy to integrate your storefront with back-office systems, suppliers and 3rd party services such as ERP (Enterprise Resource Planning), CMS (Content Management Systems) and Legacy Applications. This effectively eliminates manual processes improving operational efficiency. For instance, your storefront could retrieve inventory and pricing information for each product directly from your ERP system. You can integrate with suppliers and drop-shippers enabling them to pull order information on demand.

I got this article from Znode…..amazing article…and great article to post….Thanx to them…so all the applause has to go to them…

 

World’;s Largest swimming pool…was just thinking about swimming and swimming pools………..so u enjoy this post on World Largest Swimming Pool.

Do know where it is and how large it is…..

San Alfonso del Mar in Chile, this artificial lagoon and swimming pool is eight hectares in size and contains an incredible 250,000 cubic metres of water. Acknowledged by Guinness World Records as being the world’s largest swimming pool, the lagoon trounces all other record holders in the category.

It is more than 1,000 yards long, covers 20 acres, had a 115ft deep end and holds 66 million gallons of water.

Acknowledged by the Guinness Book of World Records as the world’s largest swimming pool, the lagoon measures 1,013 metres in length……………1 KM in lenght and covers an area of eight hectares.This one took five years to build, cost nearly £1billion and the annual maintenance bill will be £2million.
The man-made saltwater lagoon has been attracting huge crowds to the San Alfonso del Mar resort at Algarrobo, on Chile’s southern coast.
Its turquoise waters are so crystal clear that you can see the bottom even in the deep end.

It dwarfs the world’s second biggest pool, the Orthlieb ? nicknamed the Big Splash ? in Morocco, which is a mere 150 yards long and 100 yards wide. An Olympicsize pool measures some 50 yards by 25 yards……what the….look at the difference.

Chile’s monster pool uses a computer-controlled suction and filtration system to keep fresh seawater in permanent circulation, drawing it in from the ocean at one end and pumping it out at the other.
The sun warms the water to 26c, nine degrees warmer than the adjoining sea.
Chilean biochemist Fernando Fischmann, whose Crystal Lagoons Corporation designed the pool, said advanced engineering meant his company could build “an impressive artificial paradise” even in inhospitable areas. It uses hardly any chemicals.
“As long as we have access to unlimited seawater, we can make it work, and it causes no damage to the ocean.”

Now look at the Images…………….

Worlds Largest Swimming Pool

Worlds Largest Swimming Pool

Worlds Largest Swimming Pool

Worlds Largest Swimming Pool

Worlds Largest Swimming Pool

 

Great Moves from Major Telcom providers………Kudos to them…and Hats off

U.S. carriers AT&T and Verizon both announced that they would be waiving calling and texting fees for their users who were calling Japan, in the wake of the devasting earthquake and tsunami in the region. Since then a number of other smaller carriers are joining the mix.

T-Mobile USA is allowing postpaid customers to make calls to Japan without charges through March 31, 2011. Text messaging will also be free to and from Japan until the sale date and customers can make Wi-Fi calls to and from Japan free of charge as well.

Sprint waived fees for text messaging and wireless calls to and from Japan for customers who are on the carrier’s networks, retroactive from March 11 and continuing to April 10, 2011. Both carriers are also waiving text message fees to mobile giving campaigns.

Time Warner, Vonage and Cox Communications have all waived their long-distance fees to Japan………

A great move…..this is not only social responsibility….but Human responsibility…..vedamsgyan salutessss

It has been almost all 15 days since i posted any thing…work..work…so couldn’t do… But after seeing this i thought i can take some time and post…Thanx to Srikanth Gudavaram for sharing this info with me… Sriku….u rock man.

The world’s biggest family:The man with 39 wives, 94 children, 14 Daughter In laws and 33 grandchildren. The Man here is Mr Ziona Chana.

Chana hailes from a small village called Baktwang in the Stae of Mizoram (India)…it happens only in India.

He lives in a 100 room 4 stored mansion…………And his house is the biggest Concrete structure in his village.

Check him with his 181 family members

181 family members photo

Now check his 100 room mansion……which is no less than any so called Star hotel (with 100% occupancy)

100 Room, 4 stored Mansion

Evening meal of this Worlds Largest family consist of 30 Chickens, 60 Kgs of Potatoes and almost 100 Kgs of Rice……….wooopppppss

Dinner time.....

Mr Chana told the Sun: ‘Today I feel like God’s special child. He’s given me so many people to look after.

‘I consider myself a lucky man to be the husband of 39 women and head of the world’s largest family.’

The family is organised with almost military discipline, with the oldest wife Zathiangi organising her fellow partners to perform household chores such as cleaning, washing and preparing meals.

And the best part is Mr Chana is heads a sect that allows members to take as many wives as he wants……..hmmmm nice sect and lucky people.

Mr Chana, whose religious sect has 4,00 members, says he has not stopped looking for new wives. He said “To expand my sect, I am willing to go even to the U.S. to marry”……..America…..watch…Super husband is comminggggggggggggggg……..

He even married ten women in one year, when he was at his most prolific, and enjoys his own double bed while his wives have to make do with communal dormitories.

Now this is the best part………..He keeps the youngest women near to his bedroom with the older members of the family sleeping further away – and there is a rotation system for who visits Mr Chana’s bedroom.

Rinkmini, one of Mr Chana’s wives who is 35 years old, said: ‘We stay around him as he is the most important person in the house. He is the most handsome person in the village.

Another of his wives, Huntharnghanki, said the entire family gets along well. The family system is reportedly based on ‘mutual love and respect’

39 Wives and still goinggggggg

Now will show you the shared bedroom….where the OLDER wives stay

Older Wives..place......

AB’s Stroke: First Congratulation to Mr Chana…..and one greatest Pride factor……..This Worlds Biggest Family is from India. And kudos to Chana….how can he manage 39 wives….when i…no …we….cant even manage One properly. Its easy to work under tough boss..but impossible to mange one single wive…..So he is the Greatest Man in the world. I can call him SUPER Man….Inspiration to men (Only men). Still we have so many sects which practice leave bigamy…polygamy…….I am no one to say its bad….but i personally feel this should not exist..we talk about equalities…how does our “MODERN SOCIETY” react if this was done by any lady…..So say no to BIGAMY….POLYGAMY.

Wish every one become “EKA PATNI VARTHA” Which means  “One Live-One Wife

Cheers
VedamsGyan

 

Corporate Humor…. All to have fun…so no offense…..just enjoyyyyyyy

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This is all for fun..and no offence……..Just make you laugh……..

Hope you all liked it…

Cheers
VedamsGyan

Maha Shivrathri is a festival celebrated every year on the 13th night or the 14th day of the new moon in the Krishna Paksha of the month of Maagha or Phalugana in the Hindu calender. This festival is of utmost importance to the devotees of Lord Shiva. Mahashivaratri marks the night when Lord Shiva performed the Tandava‘ and it is also believed that Lord Shiva was married to  Mother Parvati. On this day the devotees observe fast and offer fruits and flower and Bhilva Patra or Bael Leaves to Shiva Linga.


Shiva means “Auspicious One“… Laya karaka…or the Destroyer…..In the Hindu Trinity..or Trimurthy.

Worshiped by millions of people in the LINGAKARA which means in the form of Linga

There are 12 major places of worship for Shiva….they are called as Jothirlinga’s. Dwadasa Jothirlinga’s

Jyothirlinga is a shrine where Lord Shiva is worshipped in the form of a Jyothirlinga or lingam of light.  It is believed that Shiva first manifested himself as a Jyotirlinga on the night of the Arudra festival, thus the special reverence for the Jyothirlinga. It is believed that a person can see these lingas as columns of fire piercing through the earth after he reaches a higher level of spiritual attainment.

The Hym you are gonna read below is Called  “Dwadasha Jothirlinga Stotram”

Sourashtre Somanadham, cha Sri Shaile Mallikarjunam,
Ujjayinyam Maha Kalam, Omkaram, amaleshwaram,
Paralyam Vaidyanatham, cha Dakinyam Bhimasankaram,
Sethubandhe thu Ramesam, Nagesam thu Darukavane,
Varanasyam thu Viswesam, Trayambakam Gouthami thate,
Himalaye thu Kedaram, Ghushmesam cha Shivalaye,
Ethani Jyothirlingani sayam pratha paden nara,
Saptha janma krutham papam smaranena vinasyathi.

Do find the Translation in English

  • Somanatha in Sourashtra,
  • Mallikarjuna in Sri Shailam,
  • Mahakala in Ujjain,
  • Omkaram in Amaleshwara,
  • Vaidhyanatha in Parali,
  • Bhimasankara in South,
  • Rameshwara near the bridge in Sethu,
  • Nageswara in Daruka forest,
  • Visweswara in Varnasi,
  • Trayambakeshwara in the shores of Godavari,
  • Kedareshwara in Himalayas,
  • Ghushmesha in Sivalaya.

And whats that you get by reading this

He who remembers them,Morning and evening,
Would wash away sins,Committed in his seven births.

Today is Maha Shivarathri….so i had posted this. Let all of you have the blessing of Lord Shiva….

OM Namah Shivaya……….